49 Comments

Ugh I loved this so much. The DI vs DII/DIII and first wives vs. second wives studies are all I want to read now. And this?? MADE MY NIGHT: "There is nothing scarier than a 40-year-old woman across the net from you because you just know it’s about to be a real dog fight. What I find amazing about them is that they don’t lose matches. You have to take it from them. Truly, you have to put your foot on their neck and wrench the match from them because they simply will not give you anything. The men can be coaxed into losing. They can be steered into errors. Into collapse. But the women, they are rock fucking solid. The ball always comes back. And it’s always short. Playing two women in doubles is my unique idea of tennis hell. I have been ground into dust by their floating shots and weird ass spin and their sudden injection of pace. They are impervious to winners going by them. It’s like they delete it from their memory."

Expand full comment

Yes omg this bit really hit home for me!

Expand full comment

First, I'm so glad you're sticking around. These letters are a gift. Second, I hope this particular letter is the germ of a novel, maybe? New York class drama filtered through tennis . . . Edith would be so pleased.

Expand full comment

I am...thinking about it, lol.

Expand full comment

Yes do it! You can make me interested in a topic I know and care nothing about (any kind of sports)!

Expand full comment

One of the only reasons I don't move back to New York is because I am so afraid I won't be able to play tennis. Booking a court in LA is extremely simple, online, and dead cheap. But that doesn't alleviate the question of finding people to play with. The USTA leagues are truly not for me. You so deftly described a women's doubles team--a lot of knee braces, a lot of dubious line calls--that I know you know what I mean. I mostly play singles and found that my best bet was to enter tournaments. The only problem with tournaments is that levels of play are self-determined (or more accurately self-proclaimed) so if you sign up to play at a 4.5 or a 5.0 level you will get everything from a rank beginner to a sandbagger playing down. So you (okay...I) play up, thinking that I won't have to play a pusher who will drive me crazy. And still the same thing happens. Well, that, or there aren't enough women registered to play in the open division so I head immediately to the finals and generally get completely dusted by a 20-year-old. I wish there were co-ed tournaments where one could play someone at their own level, regardless of gender. Anyway, if you find yourself in LA and you want to play tennis, hit me up. I play a Babolat Rafa Pure Aero with Babolat RPM blast strings (56 lbs).

Thank you so much for this piece. Reading it gave me the purest kind of tennis nerd joy!

Expand full comment

There is a whole essay waiting to be written by someone (maybe you? Maybe me? maybe both of us?) about the utter LYING that goes on in self-rating!!! THEY LIE!!!! SO MUCH! It's hard to know if these people are lying to themselves or if they have been lied to by coaches.

The RANGE of skill levels on display in the "intermediate" band of play!!! I hear that the USTA raters are very strict though, so maybe they're good for that at least. Ooof.

Expand full comment

PREACH! People LIE when they self-rate for USTA too. How can it be fun for them to play against players that they are far superior to???

Expand full comment

Ooooh this is such a good essay topic. Do we rate ourselves, play, then rate each other and write about it? So many possibilities here. But yeah...I think a lot of coaches tell beginners to say they are a 3.5 so they will have the potential to play a wide range of opponents. But it's truly a broken "system". Now, don't get me started on line calling. ;)

Expand full comment

I know this is a good post because I don't know tennis at all but I read this all the way through. I also gave up on some friends this year and it's been kind of freeing but I'm still working on finding other people who actually seem to like me ... Anyways I'm glad you're still writing here, sometimes a technical fix actually solves a problem, and I appreciate that DFW isn't the only writer who can make me interested in some sports talk

Expand full comment

"...but on the other hand, I’m not calling anybody on the phone. That’s crazy."

Expand full comment

I'm glad you're staying on Substack, though I would subscribe to the next place that you decide to take your words. I don't care much for tennis, but I love the way you illustrated the New York tennis scene in this post.

(Being lonely in a big city is a special kind of lonely. If there are so many people, why is it so hard to connect to even one? New York seems especially hard if you're over the age of 25.)

Expand full comment

Here in Los Angeles, in the middle of Hancock Park, there've always been two main sets of women: the yoga women and the tennis women. The tennis women are terrifying. I think you perfectly described their walk. I mean, I don't play tennis (or practice yoga!), but observing those who do has always been fascinating to me. I read every word of your own observations and just loved them.

Expand full comment

please write a novel about the yoga women and tennis women lol

Expand full comment

This was riveting. I’ve never been able to play or follow a sport in any real way, so it’s funny how much I love creative work with sport at the centre - essays, books, movies. There’s something about it that lights up the page. Anyway, glad to hear the platform can be adapted to a usable form for you.

Expand full comment

Wait, how do I disable notes from the app?? Substack please help!!!!! I HATE NOTES!!!

Expand full comment

I too need this help, I am liking Substack less and think it's just my settings. HALP

Expand full comment

So glad you didn't leave Substack. You've inspired me to try getting back into tennis (after a 30 year hiatus). I enjoyed the racquet detail, would love some shoe chat also.

Expand full comment

I have many opinions about shoes and have learned A LOT about my feet this year, lol

Expand full comment

ASICS?

Expand full comment

Husband is a former tennis pro. I read bits of this essay aloud to him and he loved it. When I got to the part about you purchasing the RF 01 Pro he said “nooooo he’s going to get tendonitis.”

Thanks for writing and agree with those above. Would read the crap out of a full length tennis novel from you.

Expand full comment

😭 Pls tell him that he is right, but it wasn't the Pro that did it, it was the full bed of poly in the RF01 standard. I LEARNED MY LESSON!!!!!

Expand full comment

I know nothing about tennis but recently took some pickleball lessons (the horror!) with my husband. Not because I care anything about pickleball, but because I too am lonely, even with the husband and two kids. I love your newsletter and am so glad you are continuing, in all its forms.

Expand full comment

YES YES YES to all of this! I’ve played tennis most of life and found myself getting back to it after a pause in college. I hate how rough it is to play tennis in the city especially as someone who played for hours non-stop. Just when I feel warmed up, I have to give up my court.

I’ve figured out a pretty good science of the best places to play depending on what I want to accomplish with a hitting session. Also v bold to shoot my shot, but if you wanna play with someone, lemme know!

Expand full comment

Not much of what I’ve read lately gives nearly as much “for the pleasure of reading” as this piece. Thanks for sharing it.

Expand full comment

I'm sorry you didn't come out of the last 6 months of tennis with new friends, but I am glad you are still on substack. And I am very much enjoyed your structural and sociological commentary on the NYC tennis scene!

I grew up in an extremely tennis-crazy suburban town in Los Angeles county, and while I "retired" at the age of 13, my mom has continued to play in the local workouts and weekend leagues all of these years. It's always made me sad how her tennis has never really resulted in quality friendships. Keeping up with her local tennis updates continues to fascinate and appall me. So much pettiness and backstabbing! If for some reason I had to make a reality show, without a doubt it would feature the tennis mothers of Palos Verdes.

And I guess structurally, LA may not be any better than NYC; my mom has become the organizer for one of the local twice-a-week workouts; it's held on a private court and you need to text or call my mom to confirm attendance or check if there's space for you to join if you're new. I don't think anything is documented aside from group texts! LMK if you're ever in LA and want to join - though I should warn you, I think most of the attendees are first wives.

Expand full comment

SO HAPPY they fixed Notes for you & this newsletter is still here!

Expand full comment